I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
