no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize