He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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