so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
