i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
