used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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