i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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