I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
