shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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