Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
