we're blogging at a bar
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize