I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
