she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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