How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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