Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
