ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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