Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I enjoy the company of your penis
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
