what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
