margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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