WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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