So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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