We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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