friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
