Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize