marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
