So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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