every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
