butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
