Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
