No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
