I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
