he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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