i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
