he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
