Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
