i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
