there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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