Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
where am i from again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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