I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
