Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize