3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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