Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
