i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
