I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's shark week go big or go home
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
