Come see our sink grown plant.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
