we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
