i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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