oh god the rape fog is back!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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