I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
