My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize