Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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