apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
