But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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