Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
