just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
