Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
