my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's blow job season.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
