omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
