I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
