Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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