grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
