Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
