Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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