I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
