first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
