No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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