so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
