Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
