guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize