me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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