Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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