Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
