I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
